My plans, God's plans, and choices

Two weeks ago I left for a five day mission trip to an immigrant area in a city called Göteborg. It was an incredible time with my team reaching out to the youth in the area as well as to the Muslim culture. The church we worked with was one that was so living and active that I was put to shame.
The evening before leaving school, our principal said that this trip wasn’t an interlude in our regular lives, but a continuation of what we’ve already been doing. Our whole life should be one big “mission trip”; whether sharing our faith and living Christ right where we are, or in some foreign country.
The morning of our departure was when I was told by someone in the school office that there was a problem with my visa, which pertains to the Bosnia trip.  There was nothing I could do about it until after the five day trip. When I finally got back I got to work in trying to figure out a solution - but there was nothing to be done. By going to Bosnia I would risk getting big trouble (deportation and fining).
I spent several days thinking, praying, and even crying about it. Many of the girls here in the dorm prayed with and for me. Several other issues came up and I sat down, threw my hands up, and said, “Is God closing the doors because he wants me back home in Alaska or is Satan trying to hinder me?” It caused me much consternation because I couldn’t tell which one it was. I was faced with the choice of going to Bosnia and taking the consequences, or avoiding the problems all together and just going home – the thought of making the wrong choice paralyzed me. I didn’t want to fail God, I didn’t want people to think that God had failed me.
Long story short, I made the decision to go home. Many factors played into this decision. My parents said they would support my decision either way. I had the support of my team either way. I didn’t have peace in my heart in going to Bosnia. And I remembered what Luke Thomas, our principal, had said about us continuing our lives like one big mission trip. Even in going home I can reach out to people. I’ve given a lot of thought to God’s will – it’s something we will never be able to fully comprehend and every branch of Christianity has its own view on how His will works. That’s something I’m not going to delve into at this point, but I want to insert a quote from a book I’ve been reading about Amy Carmichael:

“They laid a palm branch across Ponnammal’s bed as a sign of victory and accepted whatever answer God might give, certain that whether it was to be physical healing or not, He would give victory and peace. It sounds like a simple formula. It was an act of faith, but certainly accompanied by the anguish of doubt and desire which had to be brought again and again under the authority of the Master.”

God’s answers aren’t always what we expect, and decision making is hard – at least for me. But I have made my decision and I feel a perfect peace about it in my heart. I don’t feel like God has brought me to a dead end, but has rerouted my path. One of the speakers at school once said, “If you look after the depth of your relationship, He’ll look after the breadth of your work.” That’s what I’m clinging to.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for me. And to those who donated, you will be getting your money back. If you want me to give the money to the rest of the Bosnia team please email me, otherwise I will be giving it back to you.

I set out on this journey with the challenge of trusting God with money – but I think he has asked for my trust in all things. There are so many things I’ve learned, and am continuing to learn. I’m grateful for a God of patience, love, and power.

Time

Yesterday I realized that I am down to my final three weeks in Sweden. Almost every day I hear another student saying in astonishment, "I can't believe how fast the time is going!" As one of the former speakers said, "Time is like a roll of toilet paper - the less there is the faster it goes!" And it struck me if I'm always living for tomorrow I will never live for today. That's something Yahweh has been teaching me - the power of contentment.

In two days I'll be leaving for a five day mission trip in a city called Göteborg. I'll be teaching english and helping lead a youth group with a team of other students. It is neat that we have this opportunity to reach out to the Swedish community, but because it is mandatory I'm struggling with viewing it as a homework assignment and my enthusiasm level isn't very high. I've prayed again and again that God would set me on fire for this, but I'm really battling with not wanting to go. Last night the principal said something that really stood out to me. He said, "My prayer is that at some time during this trip you would become completely and totally exhausted. My prayer is that you would come to the end of yourself - and that in that time you would invite God into the situation." He also said that we shouldn't view this mission trip as something that is seperate from the rest of our lives - we should view it as a continuation of what is already going on in our lives. So when we come back we won't be thinking, "Well, that was a fun trip, now back to normal life..." It's all a flowing continuation of our lives and the work of Yahweh. This help me put things in perspective and even though I'm not enthusiastic yet, I have the want to serve my Lord out of love and obedience.

Preparing for Bosnia

I will be going to Bosnia with about a dozen other students to serve in the city of Gorazde. Bosnia went through four years of war in the 90s to gain their independence and they have been left in a state of devastation in poverty. Unemployment runs around 70% to 75%.
We will be serving through the ministry of CrossWorld by distributing food and basic supplies to the poor. This will be done in the form of house visits. I have been told that in Bosnia, relationships are extremely important. It is not necessary to call before stopping by to see someone and going out for coffee (even with someone you’ve only just met) is normal. It is during these house visits that we will be able to build relationships with the people and share our faith.
While Bosnia is a Muslim culture, it has become more of an identity than a personal conviction. We’ve been told that in private they will be very curious about our faith and that we may answer their questions, but in public they will be very closed to it due to peer pressure and fear of what others might think.
We are supposed to call ourselves “believers” rather than “Christians” because during the war many atrocities were committed in the name of Christ. I have heard horrific stories of rape and murder done by supposed “Christians”. It is understandable that there would be a negative feeling towards anyone under that label.
This will be my first time in a Muslim culture and I’m very excited, but at the same time a bit nervous because there are so many customs and cultural differences and I’m afraid of accidentally offending people. Here are some examples:

• Cross-breezes are thought to cause illness. So airing out a room is a no-no.
• Women shouldn’t sit on concrete because it is thought to cause infertility.
• Cold drinks, ice cream, and cold feet are believed to cause illness.

While I am tempted to laugh at these, I have to remember that there are many ridiculous customs in my own home country. Since being here at school and having German room mates I have learned to see things (such as windows, locked doors, and flippant greetings) through a different paradigm.
I have a few specific prayer requests for my team and me:

o Unification of our team. (Pray that Satan would not succeed in destroying our fellowship while on the mission field – he will try)
o Health (a lot of sickness is going around here at school)
o Open doors for the gospel to be shared
o Support (most of us haven’t reached our financial goal yet. The cost of travel plus the missions trip is about 600 EUR, which comes out to about $800)

There is power in prayer because we serve a powerful God. I’m excited to see what He will do!

Trust

Several months ago a missionary in Bosnia came to visit our school in Sweden. He presented a mission opportunity to us students, showed us pictures, talked about his experiences, and shared his testimony. I was very intrigued, but at first I did not feel at all inclined to go. I was telling my friends that I didn't feel "called". But as time went on there was something growing inside of me that was nudging and bothering me.
At first I didn't know what it was, but then is donned on me. Part of the reason I didn't want to go was because of money. It had never occurred to me before that I didn’t trust Yahweh with my money, but it was true. Even though He has never failed to provide for my every need, I struggle in trusting Him with my money. It was at that point, for two reasons, that I decided to go to Bosnia:

1) Yahweh has called us to reach out to orphans, widows, and those less fortunate than we are. I have the desire to serve others and to share what Yahweh has done in my life.
2) I want to trust my Lord, not just in theory, but in practice. I trust that He will provide me with everything that He sees fit to give me.

First Post

The purpose of this blog is to keep a public record of mission trips that I attend. I want to keep a record for myself, and I also want to keep friends and family updated.